What I learned today from submissive men
April 22nd, 2007I try hard not to project politics onto sex. My arguments are with real life; sex will always be awkward, unfortunate, or politically incorrect. We don’t get to pick our preferences, after all. If I could pick what turned me on, I would certainly not have chosen BDSM: coming to peace with it has caused me heartache and guilt and sleepless nights, not to mention all the Dermablend I’ve had to buy.
But it’s still hard for me to level with kinks that seem rooted in a warped worldview. Forced feminization, sissies, “bitches”, “sluts” and other forms of pseudo-feminine personas seem insulting to me. If you are going to emulate a woman, emulate the good in us, the things in which we find our pleasure. Please do not become a woman for an hour because you believe femininity to be synonymous with degradation, insult, and shame.
I can understand creating a character in which you can live out your darker urges. Role play is fantastic. But these particular fantasies do not create a character; they exploit a stereotypical role.
More on that some other day.
Today, before the sun is entirely gone, I want to leave a couple of sentences about the ways submissive men actually ease my mind.
Turns out that giving it up the ass is great. I have been pleasantly surprised to discover all the fun inherent in the aggressive sexuality, vulnerability, and intimacy of penetration. And I don’t even have a penis! I can only imagine how much more fun it would be if I possessed a biological dick. So, no more worrying that my partners must feel put-upon by my deviances. If I can learn to enjoy fucking men, my boyfriends have no excuses.
Sucking cock is fun. They do it on dildos, with no expectation (besides perhaps fantasy) that either the dick or its wearer are receiving any pleasure. The act itself is a turn-on. Sure, fellatio can be submissive, or gay, or an act of service; but it needn’t be. These men are doing it for themselves. That makes me feel better about all the times I’ve put a cock in my mouth while worrying I was only a victim of brainwashing and pornography, helping The Man keep me down. What? You don’t worry about these things when you’re fucking?
May 7th, 2007 at 11:28 pm
If you are going to emulate a woman, emulate the good in us, the things in which we find our pleasure.
Oh, how I strongly, strongly echo that sentiment!
I also second the fact that ass fucking, or rather, taking it in the ass, is a fantatic experience. Being male, and having a prostate, I have to say that I can not imagine that god, in his or her infinite wisdom, could have divined a more wonderful anatomy for men to enjoy.
As for fucking the ass of another and sucking cock, well, I haven’t the experience I would like with such things, so I will just say that if the reality is half as fun as my fantasies, I’d be thriled. Sucking dildos has, of course, already been wonderfully enjoyable, even though it did make me wonder if I have an oral fixation. ^^;
It’s good to hear that women like yourself can enjoy these things for the sake of them. It’s true what you say; too much is made of the politics of sex when instead the focus should be on the experience.
June 3rd, 2007 at 5:13 pm
I love the way you explore the issue in your post, turning it over a few times without planting your flag too deeply into a position you may not want to hold after a while. It makes your blog very intriguing, and it’s one of the things I love about it.
It seems to me from the outside that guys who feminize themselves want to concentrate on whatever is least masculine in their feminine personas. And I think they like to use the stereotypes because they involve whatever characteristics are most humiliating for men to have. But it’s not my kink and I haven’t seen enough to more than take a stab at it in the dark. There’s a humiliation about men being girlish or womanish that I don’t think extends to other aspects of being a woman. And with subs, it’s really the humiliation that’s the turn on, isn’t it? Or maybe not …
I’d love to hear more about what positive aspects of being a woman you’d like to see in feminized subs. Thanks for letting us listen in on your exploring these ideas.
January 12th, at 7:33 am
I definitely wouldn’t mind be fucked in the ass by a dildo myself. In fact, I have a vision that it would be fun for me to get fucked in the rear by a woman wearing a strap-on.