Scribes and Pharisees

March 11th,

Spitzer, darling. What were you thinking?

I don’t mind if you patronize prostitutes. I think it should be your legal right. However, you should ask your wife about it first — and oh yeah, make sure it’s legal in the state you govern. It looks bad when you’ve made your name as a high-and-mighty moral reformer, busting up prostitution rings in Staten Island to much press and acclaim. You deserve all the “eliminating the competition?” jibes you’re gonna get.

Don’t resign, dear. If this is the end of your career, go out with a growl and not a whimper. Be brave. Make it count! Admit that you’ve been a hypocrite, since we already know it to be true. Then tell us you regret wasting your time targeting prostitutes when there are important governmental concerns.

As sex-obsessed as we are as a nation, we can get over a little scandal. (See also: the Clintons.) Focus on something worthwhile, tell us that prosecuting prostitution is not, and maybe this will all go down as a darkly humorous blip in the records.

kisses,
Calico

p.s. This one’s free.

Posted in prostitution, activism, hypocrisy, armchair politics

9 Responses to “Scribes and Pharisees”

  1. 1 Rebecca
    March 11th, at 3:16 pm

    *giggle*

  2. 2 Mark
    March 11th, at 4:42 pm

    I wish he’d really be bold and work for legislation to legalize prostitution, and pardon every one convicted of an (adult) prostitution offense.

  3. 3 Sharon
    March 11th, at 5:45 pm

    What do you think he was getting for $5500 an hour? Really, I’m curious…

  4. 4 Maria
    March 11th, at 7:50 pm

    Seriously, will you please actually send this to him?

    His address:
    Eliot Spitzer
    State Capitol
    Albany, NY 12224

    email: http://161.11.121.121/govemail

    Or at least send it to the Times or something. I love your letter!

  5. 5 Dov
    March 11th, at 10:37 pm

    Oh man so delightfull

  6. 6 Verite
    March 12th, at 9:58 am

    Noooooo! Please don’t wish another Clinton couple on the national psyche, not to mention the Empire State…one power hungry high performing deeply disturbed and dysfunctional couple is too much for us to suffer under…I don’t care how entertaining his sexual proclivities might turn out to be…let him resign and go to couple counseling without the rest of us having to be involved in their psycho-drama…which is still the number one reason the Clintons should be put out to grass…

  7. 7 Patrick
    March 12th, at 2:29 pm

    $5500 an hour, broken down:

    7′ 350lb front-door-guard-moving entrance fee: $750
    400 thread count monogrammed sheets with the seal of the state of NY: $600
    Room sound proofing and sweep for recording devices: $500
    Computer with high speed internet like out of the movie “Swordfish” for gubernatorial email checking: $650
    Emperor’s club-brand condoms with gold leafing: $300
    1970 Dom Perignon: $800
    Caspian White Sturgeon Caviar: $400
    7′ 350lb back-door-guard-moving nonphotographer exit fee: $1100
    Subtotal: 5100
    NY 8.375 sales tax: 427.13
    Total: $5527.13

    Ability to truthfully say you really did spend $5500 for an hour: Priceless(but really $5500)

    There are some things money can’t buy…
    but this actually isn’t any of them
    So go ahead, put it on your Mastercard

  8. 8 Calico
    March 13th, at 9:24 am

    Maria - he resigned too fast to give me a chance. :(

  9. 9 Rebecca
    March 14th, at 5:53 am

    I just read that his resignation doesn’t go into effect until monday.
    Send! Send!

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