I wrote this post for a previous attempt at a blog. Some time has elapsed, including a move, several jobs, and quite a lot of life. Currently I work at a dungeon, and don’t do much modeling, but the general sentiment about sex work remains applicable.

Most of my friends know that I pose for photographs, sometimes nude. It’s business that I take when other models don’t because I don’t find it offensive. The money’s good, the work is enjoyable and interesting, and I think that quality erotica is something people should have in their lives.

But I haven’t had an outlet for my experiences as a model on and off the job. I have so many journal entries I wrote and never posted, emails to friends I composed and never sent. Egotism aside, these are things I wish I’d been able to read from other girls. They’re also things I wish I had the nerve to tell strangers and friends alike.

And I want to start sharing them before I forget what it was like when I started. I’ve been modeling… just over a year, now, since I first took off my clothes in front of a camera. It was around then, too, that I was struggling with sexuality as it applied to me — a struggle that really hasn’t stopped.

If I could ease someone’s confusion, head off their criticism, open someone’s eyes — that would be effort well spent, right? I don’t fancy myself a voice of any particular wisdom, but I can be honest. A year ago, I looked for something like what I’m about to write. Maybe someone else is looking, too.

Posted in modeling, sex work, secrets, explanation, personal history