So You Wanna Be A Pro-Dom: Part 2
November 14th, 2007The BDSM world is disgustingly gear-centric. This is one of my pet peeves. I am not a material girl, and I don’t need a lot of Stuff. See also: Manhattan apartment.
I’ve made some concessions for pro-domming, where it can’t be all duct tape and zip ties. But even there, I still don’t need a lot of Stuff. Hot outfits. A bondage bed. Maybe a paddle or a whip if I really want to feel official. Nonetheless, equipment has its place. It can add excitement or set a scene. (And have I mentioned it makes me feel official?)
Here are the things I’d hate to play without:
Paddles
Because spanking should never be a humiliation thing … for me.
Cheap: Most of ‘em, and the cheap ones hurt just as much as exotic hardwoods.
Cheapest: Hairbrushes and cutting boards.
Rope
A square knot is all you need. But if you get into bondage for its own sake, you will never outgrow your materials. Also great as CBT or in place of cock ring.
Cheap: MFP from Rainbow Rope. It’s machine-washable, comes in beautiful colors, and will last you forever.
Cheapest: Home Depot.
If you like look of hemp, I’ve used a reasonable (and dirt-cheap) synthetic substitute called “unmanila”.
Flogger
Probably the most ubiquitous of BDSM toys. Loved by bottoms almost universally. From nasty to sensual, from thuddy to stingy, there are floggers to match every taste. Go have fun, and don’t put out your shoulder.
Cheap: Mine are Details Toys. I could have bought Heartwood, but then I would feel bad about dirtying them.
Cheapest: Make your own out of rope, strap, cord, or lacing.
Cane
One, thank you, sir. May I have another, sir? Indulge your favorite boarding school fiction, or just your love for stripes. Rattan is classic; synthetics are cruel.
Cheap: Practically all of them.
Cheapest: Anything long and thin will work. (Dowels, PVC pipe, garden stakes, the fiddly thing from your window blind, golf club handles, your riding crop once the slapper breaks off …) Just watch for sharp ends, splinters, and breaking.
Singletail
It makes that iconic, ear-splitting swish-CRACK! And you can swing across bottomless pits on it. Perks: classic lash marks; potential for blood; unbelievable amounts of pain. Downsides: expensive, ostentatious, actual learning curve.
Cheaper: leather whip from David Morgan. (Oof! He raised his prices again.)
Cheap as You Can Get: nylon whip from Coyote Whips
I own one of each, but I’m experimenting with braiding my own at the moment, because I’m too stubborn for my own good. Stay tuned.
Gloves
By this point, I think group sex as soon as I see black latex gloves. At work, I wear gloves whenever my hands might get messy.
Cheap: Black latex (or if you’re allergic, purple nitrile) from Kinky Medical
Cheapest: Your local drugstore brand.
Lubricant
Slippery bits should be slippery! Remember: no oil with latex, no silicone with silicone. I like lube to be water-based and glycerin-free, so that I can use them on toys and people indiscriminately. I like thick lube in general, but I like really thick lube for anal sex. Preferences vary.
Cheap: Liquid Silk and Maximus.
Cheapest: Astroglide and KY.
Pump dispensers are invaluable.
If you’re buying for pro work, you’ll want gear that looks moderately classy.
If you’re me and you’re doing it recreationally, you probably won’t bother with any of this. Oh, wait…
Condoms
November 14th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Yes… not putting your shoulder out whilst flogging would have been useful advice to have had a couple of weeks ago
November 14th, 2007 at 4:01 pm
HA! So thats where I get black latex gloves. (aw, they only sell them in packs of ten?! I go through gloves like toilet paper!)
Black latex gloves are So.Fucking.Sexy. Really. Nothing makes me feel hotter than wearing Black.Latex.Gloves.
The first time I put my hand in a man’s ass, I was wearing black latex gloves….and actually, the last time as well, just this weekend. I used the last glove the host had.
I hate Duane Reade’s gloves. They’re textured, have to get turned inside out, and are not Black Latex. The only good thing is that I can use them when the ratties get hurt. Then, the texture helps. You try holding onto a squirming ball of fur squeaking “DOES NOT WANT!”
I need to get a giant case of Black.Latex.Gloves., a place to store them, and a mailman who doesn’t as questions.
November 14th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Z - Sympathy, ice and ibuprofen?
Wendy, I just fixed the url from .net to .com. They’re different websites — my bad.
Black latex gloves rock. It’s hard to wear them without feeling like you mean business.
November 15th, 2007 at 1:07 am
Bitchen! As soon as I can, I’m getting Black.Latex.Gloves, and finding more people who want me to put my hand up in them.
November 15th, 2007 at 8:27 pm
Hello Calico
I was just surfing the Kink websites, and spotted your recent Whipped Ass shoot. It’s charming! And Claire Adams makes a delicious domme.
Yrs in pervery, Adrian
November 15th, 2007 at 11:03 pm
no love for gags? Oh noes!
Ball gags are so goddamn sexy.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:31 pm
Gags didn’t make the cut since I rarely get to use them at work. Boo, I know. I could have included gags and blindfolds and clothespins and cord, but the list had to stop somewhere.
I much prefer duct tape though. Kissing over a ball gag is porny, while kissing over duct tape is f’ing hot. And duct tape is all sweaty and sticky and I’m-captured-and-about-to-be-cruelly-interrogated-y.
November 16th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
pssst. hey there, it’s Helena, as the title says. I’ve been lurking & adoring your blog ever since you linked to me. Ah, vanity.
Anyway, which flogger(s) from DeTails do you have, and which do you recommend for what types of play? I’m starting to strategize Christmas gifts, and neither my boy nor I own a flogger. But bear in mind that that omission from our toy collection speaks to our collective inexperience with them…
In other news, I am going to email you about the opportunity mentioned in the post following this one. And also, your blog is so awesome.
November 17th, 2007 at 9:43 am
you are great!
gotta say tho… in my experience the ostentation of whips in the…(scene?) really only applys to those who don’t actually understand the whip.
sadly, that seems to be the majority.
November 17th, 2007 at 8:10 pm
Helena, hi and thanks
Awesome Christmas present idea. Maybe I can get down with Christmas after all.
I think you guys should go to Babeland or Purple Passion and fondle toys. You might not decide to buy there, budget depending, but sex toy shopping is always fun. And while size doesn’t really matter to the person being hit, he’ll probably pick out a heavier whip than you would choose if you were topping.
My two bought for work are deer and bull, I think. Most “first floggers” are deer or elk. The idea is that you’ll certainly feel it, but it’s hard to maim someone unless you hit them with the handle end.
Yay! Have fun. It’s totally not as intimidating as it seems.
November 18th, 2007 at 9:39 pm
Ah, well as long as you are bringing up toys. For those of us who love paddles, you really should consider putting a jokari paddle or two in your toy stash. They can be found at thrift stores and on ebay for a pittance. They hurt like crazy, make a great sound, have a comfy easy to grip handle, and are almost impossible to break.
LOVE
LOVE
LOVE
them.
They were a part of my childhood and a sport at the time. We have a very tiny, but devoted jokari paddle cult down in Atlanta.
November 20th, 2007 at 10:57 pm
So I`m becoming intrigued by single tails since you seem to be such a fan. 10 mins of google hasn`t given me any kind of usefull tutorial on how to use one. Can you point me somewhere?
November 24th, 2007 at 1:19 am
Zonk, I really want to throw out some suggestions, but I feel like I shouldn’t because I’m Not Worthy.
Maybe some of the Worthy people will step in? I learned from a lover, who learned from someone else … you know the drill. Worked for me, but one shouldn’t have to put out to use a whip.
Said lover had a good book on whipcracking, though not the on-people kind, which I will look up and post or email you.
I wonder if there is much porn that features singletails? Just seeing the basic motions would be nice…
It’s not rocket science. Most people (not me, I took a week) pick it up and crack it first try. Most people even can aim right away. (Not me, I took months. I am uncoordinated.) It’s just a matter of patience, practice and caution. And progress is pretty quantifiable because it leaves marks.
I hit shirts a lot. I was fond of trying to unroll the sleeves.