Thank You
January 14th,I really wanted to write an anecdote in screenplay format. Tact prevents me from writing it at all. However, dear reader, if you have an encounter with multiple men, I encourage you to write about it in screenplay format, that you may write MAN in capital letters as many times as possible. (And send it to me.)
On Friday night, I turned to a man and said, “Will you fuck me?”
Then unexpectedly, I thought: God, I hope he’s not disgusted by having watched me have sex with another man. I wonder if he even wants to touch me right now.
I try not to trouble myself with nonsense. These were thoughts I had no business thinking, thoughts that if the genders were reversed it would not even occur to me to think. For example, had I just been fucking a girl? I would expect all the men in a 40-block radius to be crawling toward me, begging to lick the ambrosia from my face.
I know that I am not made dirty or disgusting by sex. Yet this is why I avoid humiliation: it’s hot in fantasy, and in reality, not yet so much. I’ll be a filthy slut for you the day I can don and doff that personality at will. I don’t trust that I always have that choice in my partners’ eyes.
Still, I was surprised that asking made me feel so vulnerable. If he had declined, I think I could have enjoyed the moment for what it was (pretty f’ing awesome) and taken up my nonsense, like responsible people do, on my own time.
But he didn’t say no. And more to the good, that’s the part I can’t stop thinking about.
January 14th, at 9:53 pm
Why in the world would any guy in his right mind decline you of such a request?
I suppose self-doubt hits everyone from time to time.
If a guy doesn’t respond to you when you ask him that. Let me know and I can teach you the same question in American Sign Language. He would obviously be hard of hearing.
January 14th, at 10:51 pm
@axe hahahahaha, I love you.
But seriously girl, the day you ask a man to fuck you and he says no..I’d be so confused. Coz your uber hot. And if you turned to *me* and asked me to fuck you, before you could finish I’d be offering you choice of cocks.
Just sayin’. I got a bunch.
January 14th, at 10:51 pm
Axe, you flatterer. Why aren’t more dominant women sleeping with you? I don’t get that, either.
Rejection happens to all of us. The more outre the proposal, the more likely. Sometimes it’s nervewracking just owning up to the request in the first place.
Are you fluent in ASL?
January 14th, at 11:00 pm
Context is everything and everything in its context.
I think most people have that self doubt though internalizing it into a momentary humiliation moment isnt as common.
And yes incredibly hot, I wopuld agree with the peanut gallery as to raised hands and drop of hats dildos or whatever floats trhe fancy of the moment.
That nervewracking moment or worse that cluelss moment where you sudenly realize they have been asking and you cant belive you missed the question.
I think of how many times ive ttotaly missed somone asking, hinting or just laying themselves open to anything and ive flubbed it thinking im not that interesting.
January 14th, at 11:05 pm
Yes I suppose you’re right. Rejection happens to all of us.
Reminds me of a They Might Be Giants lyric:
“No one in the world every gets what they want and that is beautiful”
Very fluent in ASL.
January 15th, at 4:13 am
Not that this is news to you, Calico, but I think it deserves articulation here:
Declining an offer of sex is also something that many people do not out of repulsion for the person making the proposal, but because of some other reason that has very little to do with the offer itself and much more to do with their own, internal workings.
Furthermore, men and male-identified people should be able to say “no” and not be considered to be “not right in the head” because you can’t say “yes” if you can’t also say “no.” And we should all know that by now. But clearly we don’t.
January 15th, at 10:44 am
Thanks, May, that was so exactly what needed saying, I think I want to repost it.
January 15th, at 11:14 am
Best use of Outre in a sex blog this year. (And yes, I had to go look it up).
Can we get some T-Shirts made with maymay’s comments?
January 15th, at 4:01 pm
May always has a way with words
January 15th, at 9:32 pm
Besides the general “damn, I miss all the good parties” aspect of things, I am sure it will shock you entirely none to know I am with maymay on this.
People turn down sex for all kinds of reasons. At the same time, rejection always stings, even when you know intellectually it isn’t about you.
(And, of course, it is always glad when someone you want to not reject you doesn’t.)
I would like to see this in screenplay format. (Or hell, microfiction, since that seems to work well for little dialogue scenes.)
And, as you yourself said to me, it is sometimes difficult to realize that everyone has their insecurities, because they seem mind-boggling to us from the outside.
January 15th, at 10:54 pm
They Might Be Giants, “Don’t Let’s Start”, lyrics here.
The next lines, though, are:
“Everybody dies frustrated and sad and that is beautiful /
They want what they’re not and I wish they would stop saying”
I don’t if I think us all dying frustrated and sad is beautiful, but I do think many of us want what we’re not.
At the same time, seems like most of the people I know that I really respect are working on discovering who they are, and what they want, and working on that. So there’s hope.
Please keep thinking and writing. I think you’re helping by what you write.
January 16th, at 4:29 pm
Bad Man, this is what I’ve been wondering for years.
Dov, my new idea for a T-Shirt is one which reads, “These are the words that have meaning.”
January 18th, at 1:23 pm
Regarding screenplay format and Victor’s comment about microfiction, if you’re going for the amusement value, prose scenes with multiple characters of the same gender (slash pronoun usage) and fewer of the opposite are terribly amusing when you don’t use any names.
…I can’t seem to come up with an intelligent response to the rest of the post, so instead I will say, that was interesting, I know what you mean.
Also, hi. Followed Victor’s link to get here. I’ve met you several times but I don’t think we actually know each other yet. (More’s the pity. I’m sure the combined force of skinny redheads would have devastating effect on unwary men everywhere.)