[Man, I’m too busy to post! I wrote this on Sunday night during a slow hour. Despite all the links, I swear, I am not selling anything.]

I survived my striptease video shoot for Redlight TV on Saturday. While I like to bop around as much as the next girl, being a cute and competent model does not confer any ability to dance!

My traveling party picked me up straight from my shoot, and we drove to Baltimore to send off a friend at Playhouse. I was tired from my day of public humiliation stripping, so I limited myself to receiving backrubs and whacking people childishly with Playhouse’s set of musical tubes. If only I didn’t live in a tiny Manhattan apartment I’d own a three-octave set, with accidentals.

Acquaintances of ours own a brand-new boutique in Baltimore. When we stopped by, I fell for a line of inner-tube purses from English Retreads. Absolute fucking genius, say I! A waterproof, wipe-clean messenger bag I can polish with Armorall! For the first time in my life, I discovered what it is like to need a bag. Money spontaneously left my hands. Practical = sexy.

[It’s with me right now in the JFK terminal, serving as a laptop bag.]

We arrived back in the city just in time to return me to work. I gave my first professional beating with my singletail. Woo, me. I don’t think signal whips are the Ultimate Toy (too long, too fussy) but I love the learned-skill aspect. It’s rewarding, in a way that money and gratitude aren’t: that moment when my client turns to me in amazement and fear and says, “You’re really good at this.” Implied: I’m really in trouble.

Can competence be a kink?

My credibility held up right until the end, when I promised a final ten strokes.

“One… Two…”

At five the fall flew off my whip.

“Well, it’s your lucky day,” I said, waving it in his face. “You’ll have to come back for your other five.” Inside, I was thinking: Aaah! This is so embarrassing! Thank goodness I beat him too silly to care.

A quick Google search shows that this may not be an isolated incident: so if you have face to save (or only one cracker), let this not happen to you.

Posted in Uncategorized, modeling, tasty whips, stripping and strippers