Eight Ways to Revolutionize the Sex Industry
February 3rd,My drunken sarcasm translates badly on the Internet. Still, my first two commenters got it wrong. Can we give the stereotypes a rest? I’m a whore, which doesn’t tell you anything about my character. I guess I’m friendly, but that doesn’t make me a whore. And all sorts of people use whores — rich people, poor people, all ages, all races.
Everyone thinks they’re the exception. (They’re not.) Of course, because everyone thinks they’re the exception, I have no way to convince them I mean it. (I mean it.)
If you’re interested in combating sex work stereotypes, or just want to learn more about how false they are, this article has great suggestions:
It’s impossible to value sex work without letting go of assumptions and judgments about people who pay for sex.
“Some of it has to do with ego,” says Klinck. “The sort of thing where guys say, ‘Well, I wouldn’t have to pay for it,’ so they’ve got that attitude that those who pay for it are doing it because they have no choice, because they’re undesirable, whereas that’s not always the case.”
People pay for sex for many reasons and under many circumstances. For some it’s an easy outlet, one that, like the bathhouses, allows for sex without strings attached. For others it’s a way to satisfy sexual desires that they might be hesitant to explore with a partner or where their partner just isn’t interested.
“Everyone’s got their own value on sex and their own needs for sex and a lot of times long-term partners aren’t going to be in synch,” says Klinck. “It’s probably more rare for them to be in synch in a long-term relationship.
“Seeing sex workers could be seen as therapeutic in those cases. Wives and husbands will support each other for seeing massage therapists or for seeing a chiropractor but they will ignore the benefits they might get from seeing a sex worker.”
While there are problem clients who try to take advantage of sex workers’ marginalization, anecdotally they are the minority.
“Ninety nine point nine percent of clients are good men,” says Valerie Scott. “These guys don’t come from a shuttle from Mars every night and leave before sunrise. They’re your fathers, they’re your brothers, your physician, the guy that owns the grocery store.
They are everyone and they’re fine people and they shouldn’t be stigmatized for buying sex.”
Recognizing the clients as part of the solution to the stigma against sex work is key to change.
“If we had people saying, ‘I feel I have a right to purchase sexual services,’ my God that would help because lord knows thousands of them are doing it,” says Gallant. “It would be lovely to see clients participating in the decriminalization movement. It would be so thrilling.”
“Eight ways to revolutionize the sex industry“, Julia Garro
via Jaded Hippy
February 3rd, at 12:17 pm
I hadn’t thought clearly about that end of it, that the other half of supporting the rights of sex workers is supporting the rights of people to buy sex. Even though it appears blindingly obvious after you see it spelled out. On reflection, I’ve given too much credence in the past to the stereotypes concerning the customers of sex workers, or if not credence, have been too lazy to think around that stereotype. Ok. Give me a second for that part of my brain re-gel a little bit. Ok, I think (if only it really was that easy). That was useful, and a good article, thanks.
Oh, am I going a little crazy, or was there a different version of this entry a little while ago?
February 3rd, at 10:50 pm
I read the article.
Generally, I agree with it. I am a libertarian. I do not think any action that does not physically harm the person or property of a non-consenting other should be illegal. So, I think prostitution should be legal. However, I do think that a married person who sees a prostitute against his/her spouse’s wishes should get the worse end of a divorce settlement. Marriage is partly an agreement between two people that they won’t have sex with anyone else, and having sex with someone else is a breach of that contract. The adulterer’s shitty record of keeping their word should also be taken into account when determing who gets custody of children. It isn’t the sex aspect of a married person seeing a prostitute/sex worker I have a problem with; it’s the breaking of their word. Lest anyone accuse me of being some kind of neo-Pruritan, let me say that I think divorce should be the ONLY government provided remedy in this case; adultery shouldn’t be a criminal offense, it should be between the adulterer and their spouse.
February 4th, at 12:48 am
Boston Boy - You’re not crazy, I cut some extraneous stuff. The idea of paying is a little mind-bending, right?
Mark - I don’t think that adultery enters into the argument here. Married people commit adultery with everyone. You might as well say “people who break agreements ought to face the consequences” and leave the moralizing out of it.
February 4th, at 7:44 am
It shouldn’t be mind bending, considering how much it can cost a guy to take a woman to dinner, show, flowers, etc. It should obviously be simply good value for money. It’s just…I don’t know, when someone (read: me) enters one sub-culture and lose stereotypes concerning it, I think there’s a tendency to suddenly believe you’ve gotten over most stereotypes in general. But the legacy of one’s culture and upbringing doesn’t vanish because you gradually discover that it’s fun to be hit with stuff.
March 31st, at 10:03 pm
Another libertarian that doesn’t have a problem with it.
I think your biggest battle comes from politican’s pandering for women’s votes. You’ll have to convince the women who feel entitled to be treated to dinner, movies, shows, trips, trinkets, etc., that you’re not a scab, and that somehow it works out better for them.
Otherwise, they view you as competition, cutting out, in many cases, the one thing they bring to a relationship, or “the nuclear option”, in some cases, that they use to threaten their significant other.
Shrug. I’m not handsome, or rich, or hip, so dating sucks. I have no intention of ever getting married again, so it would be nice if the stigma was off on both sides of the equation.