In our last discussion we defined self-harm (negative pain) and masochism (sexual, aka positive, pain) but we had no way to talk about positive non-sexual pain. I think there is such a thing, but it’s very vague to me: something about energy pulls or long-distance running, rituals and ordeals.
Both Subversive Sub and Anon left […]
I had an excellent reader question: if or how masochism and self-injury are related. These two are often compared, and often to my annoyance. We all know Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character in “Secretary”, a self-injurer who cuts her thighs until she finds BDSM and James Spader.
“It’s like whiskey and bourbon,” my sister said when […]
I talk a lot about limits: please-do’s and do’s, but mostly the don’t-do’s. On a good shoot, I like most of the activities and none exceed my limits. On a mediocre shoot, I’m bored, but at least I can perform well.
I’d never had a bad shoot before.
Much of this responsibility as a model is […]
I almost resolved for New Year’s to sort out my sexual issues, but I’d have nothing to blog about.
Confession time (not that this isn’t always confessional time): what am I preoccupied with these days? The three-month’s-old scars on my thighs. I’m supposed to be talking about the lighthearted tribulations of sex work and […]
Back posts continued…
One of my coworkers told a story about her fiancee. All her boyfriends, she said, started skeptical about dominant women, but ended up playing with her sooner or later. And as soon as they tried it, they enjoyed it. “If it sucked, they wouldn’t do it!” she concluded, hands […]
Oft-asked annoying questions: Why do dominant women date dominant men? Why might dominant women prefer the challenge of forcing non-submissive men to submit? I’m sure Axe, our favorite New York City submissive looking for love, has posted a few times on these topics.
I sigh a bit at both questions. My New Years […]
At dinner on Saturday, a friend asked me if I would pay for sex. I said, Yes, of course! I’m amazed, and dismayed, that I never have.
We posited that intrinsic difficulty prevented me. The research, the selection, the call, the appointment, the wait, the interview, the paying, the shuffling between rooms, more waiting, […]
He’s got a new whip, he says. Second time using it, he says.
My sympathy for his nerves is limited. Being hit feels new every time.
His aim is impeccable, but I’m trying hard to let him hit me at all. When I drive, I’m the girl in the passenger seat who can’t help […]
The Artist’s tied arms are around my neck as I ride. I’ve put my glasses back on so I can see him, but they keep slipping down my nose.
I hate to encourage the myth that men need to fuck for hours. (It’s a peeve of mine, second only to the notion that women […]
Today I got into the pictures I did for Kink.com in September. As I have no pay site, I’m going to post a bunch of my favorites for free, because I love you! I’m not an affiliate; I don’t get any more money. But you’re welcome to talk me up on their […]
